


Flight of the Steel Penguin

by james



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-03 10:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4097311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/james/pseuds/james
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain Sidney Crosby is not a smuggler.  He is a legally licensed pilot-owner of a small cargo ship, and his ability to fly through the asteroid belt is what makes him the best, so really, he doesn't have to bother smuggling.  He does have to figure out what to do about Flower, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flight of the Steel Penguin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bropunzeling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bropunzeling/gifts).



> Thanks to D. for the beta!

Captain Sidney Crosby was not a smuggler. He was registered, fully and legally, with the Pilots' Guild as a pilot-owner, certified for in-system cargo transport with extremely limited space for passengers. His ship was small, but fast and agile, and his specialty was being the only pilot in the system able to fly through the Bandan Asteroid Belt instead of going around. It took a whole three weeks off his travel time, which made his services very high in demand.

Any double-plated shielding to be found on the hull of his ship was for radiation and to protect against impact from the tiniest bits of asteroids and random debris. It made absolutely perfect sense – he was known for being crazy enough to fly through an asteroid field and he did, in fact, fly his regular route through the asteroids because he was just that damn good. 

If there was occasionally an extra crate hidden in-between the two hulls of his ship now and again, that was nobody's business and it wasn't the main source of his income regardless, so Sid figured the Empire wasn't going to come all the way out here to bother him for it. The local Imperial officers were all half-corrupt anyhow, judging by the number of full-time smugglers who did their business right alongside Sid's ship.

He didn't smuggle cargo very often, as the mere fact he could deliver so much faster than everybody else was all the claim he needed. His ship was too small to make smuggling worth the effort, other than documents and items of political or religious value. Most smugglers worked between-system anyhow, but the _Steel Penguin_ didn't have a warp drive and Sid had no interest in fitting her with one. 

Interstellar flight was the most boring type of flying in the entire universe. The ship's computer did all of the flying and the pilot was only ever needed in case of emergency or if the landing spot didn't have a proper working beacon to latch onto. Otherwise, the pilot was just a glorified cargo master and purser.

When Sid had apprenticed as a pilot, he'd flown interstellar routes. The Lemieux Corporation was a huge and well-established commerce fleet, the biggest ship of which had a permanent crew of nearly thirty. Sid had not only studied piloting, but he'd worked his stints in engineering, maintenance, cargo, and even half a dozen weeks in biotech and agro. He'd learned more than all his years at the Academy, where he'd graduated a year ahead of his agemates. His apprenticeship application had been snapped up by the Lemieux Corporation and he'd studied under Mario Lemieux, himself.

When Sid had turned eighteen and passed his pilot's exam, Mario had offered Sid a job – and hadn't been at all surprised when Sid turned him down. Sid, on the other hand, had been extremely surprised when Mario gave him not only his four years of earned pay, but a bonus – a tiny ship, old and worn but sturdy and big enough for a single, determined pilot to make his way in the universe.

Sid had sold her two years later and bought the Steel Penguin, then quickly solidified his reputation as the best pilot in the system – and possibly the second most insane.

It was widely agreed that Flower was the craziest, even if the Quoin tinker was technically not an active pilot. Everyone agreed that his amount of crazy made him the craziest of all of them anyhow.

~~~

When Sid had bought his current ship, he'd done so knowing that he would need a co-pilot most of the time. It wasn't strictly necessary, but it took three days to get through the asteroid belt and Sid could only fly safely for twelve hours at a time. A ship's computer could hold the ship steady, but it couldn't predict the absolute chaos of the asteroids. Only a sentient pilot could keep the ship from drifting into or being hit by the asteroids while Sid slept. When he made flights alone, Sid would skirt the asteroid belt, taking short cuts which reduced his time but gave him the chance to exit the belt proper when he needed to. Having a co-pilot let him go completely through the belt and simply stop in one of the places Sid knew was big enough and relatively quiet enough to park the ship for awhile.

His last co-pilot had quit just last week, though Sid could hardly blame him for it. Colby had fallen in love and his wife-to-be wanted her husband with her and not flying around the system trying not to get hit by giant rocks. Colby was signing onto one of the more reputable shipping fleets, one with long distance work and cabins big enough for spouses.

It left Sid going through the tedious mess of trying to hire someone who was competent, but not so annoying that Sid stranded the person on the other end of the route. Letting Flower help was probably not his best choice, but it was ten times better than wading through the pilots-seeking-placement boards by himself.

He was sitting in the back of the bar, Flower across from him, both of them hunched over their readers. They were skimming through the ads, looking for anyone who had the right experience, who didn't have a record – because Sid was _not_ a smuggler, and hiring known criminals was not the way to continue asserting that claim – and who didn't have anything written on their application like "Best In The Galaxy" or "The Next Sidney Crosby, Just Watch Me!"

"What about this one?" Flower asked, flicking his tip of his tentacle through the top of his reader, then the indicated ad appeared on Sid's screen. 

He barely started to read, then shook his head and closed it. "No. He's a rTonirian. I'm not listening to chanting for the entire flight."

Flower gave him a scowl, both sets of eyelids drooping. "Most sentient species, including every human ever surveyed, find rTonirian chants to be soothing."

"I don't," Sid said, and flicked to the next ad. 

" _Gothorans_ find the chanting to be soothing," Flower pressed.

"Then you hire him." Sid closed the next several dozen in a row, all brand new academy graduates with high marks on their transcripts and not a single real-flight to their careers. He didn't mind kids, actually enjoyed watching young pilots try out their skills on the simulators, but he'd learned from experience that trying to hire one meant Sid would have a silent, wide-eyed shadow following him around the entire flight. He didn't mind spending the entire duration of an in-system flight alone, but he did like to have actual conversations sometimes, with more being contributed than just "You're _really_ Sidney Crosby!"

Flower was sniffing at him, acting insulted. "I would, but very few pilots want to be hired to work sludge for a ship tinker. I don't understand why – we're very nice people, and the work is absolutely safe."

Sid snorted. "There's a reason why everyone says tinkers are crazy, you know that, right?" It was one thing to work maintenance on a ship when it was planetside, but when ships were too big or too delicately broken to land, they had to be fixed in orbit. Which was fine, if the work needed doing was interior, or you had droids smart enough to do exterior work. But out here in the Bandan-Pitta System, mostly no one could afford the highly-developed droids that could be depended upon to get the work done right. There was only the one ship's hanger in orbit around Pitta big enough for large vessels, and it cost twelve arms and nineteen legs to rent out which meant nothing short of major repairs made it worthwhile.

It was cheaper, and you got better work, if you hired someone crazy enough to climb around the outside of your ship and bang away at whatever needed fixing. Squids were heavily favored for the work, with tentacles enough to cling to the ship and wield all the necessary tools at the same time. Flower was one of the best ship's tinkers in the system, but, even for a tinker, he was a little more insane than most.

"Here's a guy," Flower suddenly said. He held up his reader, but didn't send the ad over to Sid – which made Sid narrow his eyes in suspicion. "He's got three years working as a pilot, small cargo and shipliner. Good, clean record. Asking standard rates."

"What's wrong with him?" Sid asked.

"Nothing! He looks perfect," Flower said, holding his reader upright as if to shield Sid from seeing the screen. 

"Where did he fly?" Sid asked, because chances were if he had flown three years local, Sid knew him. Even a reputation would tell him why Flower wasn't sending the ad over to let Sid see it himself.

"He's in from the Koharty System, you won't have heard of him. I'll just send him your contract offer--"

Sid lunged across the table, reaching for Flower's reader. "What the fuck is wrong with this guy?"

"Nothing! Nothing," Flower yelled, throwing himself backwards from the table, tipping over his chair and landing on his back. Sid saw Flower catch himself with two of his tentacles, and knew perfectly well Flower wasn't likely to be hurt. Hell, Sid had seen Flower get thrown across a bar more times than he could count, and Flower usually just bounced and rolled, tentacles spinning and flailing like a tumbleworm.

"Then why won't you let me see his ad?" Sid stood over him, crossing his arms and not trying to grab the reader again. Flower was hunched over it, and the bartender was eying them like maybe she was going to call the bouncers over. She knew them perfectly well – which meant bouncers were more likely than not. Sid blamed Flower and Kris and Dupes, because when they got drunk they tended towards a unique sort of rowdy, with Dupes dancing with the servers and Kris singing loudly enough to break stone. Sid knew it was only because Sid paid his bartabs (and paid off the damages every time) that she kept letting them inside.

Flower was waving three tentacles at him dismissively. "Because he's perfect, and if you read his ad you'll find ten things wrong with him and then you'll never hire anybody and I'll have to give you a job working for me and no offense, Sid, I love you like a podling but if I had to work with you for more than a week, I'd end up eating you."

"Show me his ad." Sid wasn't worried by Flower's threat – there was no way in hell Sid would ever work with Flower anyway, either as a ship tinker or sweeping out landing bays and hauling out the trash. He gave Flower's nearest tentacle a light kick. "Show me his-- Flower, what the fuck are you doing?"

Flower tapped his reader, then smiled brilliantly up at Sid. "There! He'll meet you at your ship tomorrow. You've got a shipping contract, too, Messers Farmason and Willis requested you ferry cargo at your fastest time at the usual rates. I've already told them yes."

Sid stared at him, then dropped his face into his hand. "I"m going to kill and eat _you,_ " he moaned. 

"You'll have to clear that with Vero," Flower said cheerfully, still sprawled on the floor. Sid just scowled again, then spun on his heel and left him there because now he had to hurry back to his ship and make sure she was ready for flight.

Accepting the contract meant Sid would have to take the Koharty guy as a co-pilot, at least for the one trip, because Messers Farmason and Willis were good, regular customers who paid dearly for Sid's ability to deliver three weeks faster than everybody else. If the guy Flower had just hired for him turned out to be a complete snowjob, Sid would have to call and explain that he couldn't make it in his fastest time, which meant he'd lose nearly half what they were willing to pay him.

He'd do it if he had to, better than take their money and fail to do the job as contracted. But he hated to do it, hated to have his hand forced because Flower was an interfering idiot who had no business having Sid's password for the pilot's employment boards. Sid spent the entire trip back to his ship's docking bay, cursing Flower under his breath.

He dearly wished Vero would hurry up and lay her eggs, so maybe Flower would be too busy at home to give Sid a hard time. Well, and then Sid would get to babysit. As insane as Flower could be, he was still one of Sid's best friends, and baby squids were among the most adorable babies ever. They were pretty much able to play and follow a simple conversation from the time they hatched. Sid enjoyed reminding his sister how annoying she'd been for the first two years, unable to walk or talk and unwilling to play flying games with him. Now of course, she was in her second year at the Pilot's Academy and Sid was saving up to buy her whatever ship her heart desired. Their parents kept telling him that maybe he shouldn't go overboard, but Taylor was his only sister and she was going to get the best ship Sid could afford. 

Unless Flower drove him bankrupt by signing him up for things he couldn't deliver on. 

He'd give it until tomorrow, when he actually met the guy, and then he'd decide exactly what Flower deserved. Fuck, dammit, Flower hadn't even told him the guy's name. Well, if he didn't show, or he turned out to be completely unsuitable, it would hardly matter.

~~~

Sid was underneath the belly of his ship, checking the locking pins, when he heard someone call out, "Hello?"

He didn't bother getting up, just slid out on the hoverboard, and looked up.

And up. Sid blinked at the guy towering over him, then rolled over – falling on his face as the hoverboard slipped out from beneath him. He pushed himself to his knees and realised the strange noise he'd just heard was the guy stifling a laugh.

"You okay?" the guy asked, his voice soft with an accent Sid didn't recognise. Then he was hurrying over, helping Sid to his feet. Sid watched as the guy gave him a slow once-over. He was nearly a head taller than Sid and looked fully human though naturally that sort of thing wasn't always obvious. But his eyes were a deep, warm brown, and he was smiling, bright and wide, and his mouth – Sid blinked again.

Fuck him. He was definitely going to kill Flower, but for all good reasons this time. He took the guy's hand, trying not to stare at how huge they were, how even Sid's hand seemed to disappear a little inside his grip. "Captain Crosby," Sid managed, almost sounding smooth and collected. 

The guy's eyes lit up. "Yes! So excited to fly with, so happy you hire. Hear many things, your little penguin best ship on Pitta."

"Uh, yes, yeah, uh, it's _Steel Penguin_ ," Sid stammered. "She is, though. Best ship, I mean, the best. Uh--" He took a deep breath and tried to stop sounding like someone who'd never met a handsome guy before. "Who are you?"

Which, fuck, wasn't exactly the best way to ask the guy what his name was, since he knew who it had to be – obviously it was the guy Flower had hired, but Sid felt like half of his brain had stopped speaking to the rest of him, wholly engrossed in hoping the guy didn't have any religious objections to casual sex with someone you'd only met that day.

The guy blinked. "Yevgeni Malkin, your new co-pilot?" He looked doubtful, now, lower lip jutting out just enough that Sid wanted to bite it.

"Oh! Yes, you are, I mean, yes--" Sid gave himself a mental smack. "We'll be ready to take off in another hour, the cargo should be arriving soon. It's a pretty straight-forward run, I don't actually know what Flower might have told you, but we're not going to be on the dodge from Imperial fighters." Sid scowled, because more than once some bright-eyed co-pilot had shown up, head full of stories that were absolutely not true, thanks to Flower. "Yev...geni?"

Malkin grinned. "Maybe call Geno. Easier for tongue," he added with a sly look and Sid laughed, felt himself blushing and scurried after his hoverboard, now floating half-past the ship's ramp. If Geno was going to be flirting with him already, this flight was already looking up. 

~~~

A week into the run and Sid had revised his opinion on just how much he was going to kill Flower. Geno was an amazing pilot – Sid had sat him down in the pilot's chair and had him run through recorded flights of Sid's through the asteroid belt. It was never the same, it couldn't be with no way to chart the paths of the individual asteroids. That was the whole point of needing a sentient pilot and not using the ship's computer. There was no way Sid was actually going to let Geno fly his ship anywhere near the asteroid belt, but it was good to run simulations of his previous flights. Sid did it all the time, both for practise and because it was the most fun he ever had, flying. Geno seemed to agree, despite the way he killed them on average of nineteen times per flight attempt. Sid liked the way Geno just scowled at the end of each try and demanded they re-start the simulation to try again. His piloting skills were amazing, though, and Sid knew that he'd trust Geno to keep his ship safe when the time came for Sid to grab a catnap in the middle of the asteroid belt.

But Geno was slowing driving him crazy. Practically the second, maybe third, thing Geno had said to him was undeniably flirting, so Sid had waited until they'd got the cargo loaded and they'd taken off, Sid explaining all the ship's systems and protocols as they went. By the time they cleared planetary space, things were running smoothly and Sid had carefully and casually inquired if Geno was _interested._

Geno had just looked at him with momentary confusion, then kept talking about the ship and how Sid liked to pilot her. Then they both naturally got distracted flying the simulations, and Sid had not had to fake his appreciation of Geno's hands and flying skill. But when he tried again, asking if Geno wanted to take a break, head back to Sid's cabin, did he have any religious or moral objections to unattached, casual sex with a human male, Geno would just stare at him for a moment, then either change the subject or just say nothing and go back to whatever he'd been doing.

It was possible that Flower hadn't seen a picture of Geno when he'd selected him to hire, but Sid hd a feeling Flower had known exactly what he was doing. He knew exactly what Sid's type was and it was obvious why Flower had picked him. To be fair, Sid's type was "damn good pilot" but he also had preferences tending towards tall, dark, and gorgeous, and Flower had met enough of Sid's lovers over the years to know that. It was, no doubt, why Flower had worked so hard to prevent Sid from seeing Geno's ad in the first place so he could spring the man on him like a surprise.

But Sid was slowly growing ever more frustrated, sexually and emotionally, because Geno acted like he didn't have a clue what sex even was.

He knew that if Geno had been a member of any of a number of religious sects, he would have just said. Folks like that were always, in Sid's experience, very forthcoming about it, often more blunt about what they chose not to do, than people who were willing to do it. Sid had never met anyone who didn't have sex who wasn't willing to just _say_ so and avoid days of awkward conversations. Sid was beginning to feel guilty about jerking off in his bed alone, simply from not knowing why Geno didn't just come out and say no. Or, you know, say yes. 

For the first few days Sid had let himself be distracted each time he asked or offered, getting caught up in explaining the routes he took through the asteroid belt and watching as Geno learned to fly his ship well enough that Sid could see, maybe in a few weeks or so, Geno could even take over the back leg of the flight where the asteroids were spread out farther and far less dangerous. (He took a moment to imagine a year or more in the future when Geno flew them through the belt as easily as Sid, while Sid watched. That fantasy led to one which drove Sid into his cabin, shoving his pants down and biting into his fist to muffle the noise.)

Finally, though, he couldn't take the suspense any longer. He found Geno in the tiny mess that doubled as kitchen, dining hall, and exercise room. Geno was bent over a game board, some ridiculously complicated game that he'd tried to explain the rules for until Sid had begged off after the ninth iteration of Rule Seven and how it had yet another exception. Geno looked up as he walked in, and smiled. "Come to try again?" he asked.

Sid took a deep breath. "Geno, I want to ask you something as clearly as I can and I need you to answer. We're going to be stuck here for two more weeks unless you jump ship at Carpin Nine and leave me to make the slow run back alone."

"I don't jump!" Geno said, standing slowly, eyes wide with alarm. "Sid, you don't-- what I'm do?"

"I'm not saying you are, I just... I've been trying to ask you into my bed with me since you boarded my ship, and you keep refusing to answer. Just a yes or no is all I'm after," he said, then gave the other man a half-grin. "You're driving me nuts, so I'd just like to know if you're willing to have sex with me."

Geno's jaw dropped, then he slammed it shut and he looked – not confused, which sort of surprised Sid, because it sure seemed like his initial reaction was that he hadn't had a clue what Sid had been doing. His friends liked to say Sid was bad at flirting, but it was only that Sid was bad at subtle – he was good at it when dealing with people who didn't need to be buttered up and charmed into it. Or at least he'd thought so, before meeting Geno.

Who was now shaking his head, looking worried. Sid felt his heart drop, and told himself it was ridiculous. Even if Geno said he couldn't until he was married or something, Sid had only known him a handful of days. Being turned down was hardly going to ruin anything.

"Not sure I understand," Geno said slowly, and now Sid frowned. 

Fuck, what if it turned out Geno was some genetically-altered human who'd only aged a few years – had Sid just propositioned a five year old? Did they award pilot's licenses to adult humans grown in vats and aged only a fraction of how they appeared?

Sid didn't know if that was even a possibility, but Taylor kept giving him these books, and that one series about the girl who'd been born into an old woman's body had sounded like fiction, but maybe....

Geno was still looking worried, and Sid honestly had no idea what to say. He cleared his throat and just asked, "What part do you not understand?" he told himself he could cope with anything, they just had to figure out what the problem was. If he'd been flirting with a child, Sid was going to need to scrub himself clean in the shower for possibly a week, then go find whoever had made Geno and tear them a new one for making him look like _this._ Tall, fuckable, lips and hands to die for. Or maybe he was a shape-shifting alien who was living as a human for whatever reason, and didn't even know what sex was.

Okay, so, maybe it was just a language barrier. Geno's Galactic didn't seem to be exactly fluent, though he never seemed to have trouble understanding Sid when he was talking about flying. Sid tried to tell himself to calm down.

"Flower said," Geno began, and Sid felt himself freeze.

"What. What did Flower say?"

Flower was a dead squid. _Dead._

Geno shook his head again, looking confused now. "He say you...say things, I not to worry. That you not know what you say."

"He said what?"

Biting his lip, Geno looked for a moment like he wasn't going to elaborate, but then he said in a rush, "Flower say you flirt, but that you not mean, because you can't do. He say best I act like I don't notice. Tell me, programming glitchy, everyone just ignore you."

Sid blinked. Flower had damn well better have fertilised Vero's eggs by the time they got back, because Flower was going to die. Slowly, maybe in space without a suit. "Programming?"

"You... Flower tell me you droid?" There was a look in Geno's eyes that said he was realising that maybe he'd been lied to. 

"Are you fucking kidding me??" 

Geno worried at his bottom lip, still making Sid want nothing more than to tug it into his own mouth, nibble on it and lick him – all over, actually. "You...not droid?" 

"Flower told you I was a droid, so you wouldn't have sex with me," Sid repeated. Geno nodded, slowly, and now he was looking apologetic. Furious with disbelief, Sid demanded, "You mean, we could have been having sex _this entire time?_ "

Now with a rueful shrug, Geno just nodded again.

Sid threw up his hands, then stopped. He looked at the clock, and cursed again. "All right, dammit, we have seventeen hours before we hit the edge of the asteroid belt. I need to sleep for at least ten hours before I start flying us through that thing, and an hour between to eat a meal and prepare. Which means you and I have six hours to have sex. Get your fucking clothes off and get down the hall. My cabin is closer. And then, while I'm flying us through the asteroids, you are going to help me think of what the fuck we are going to do to Flower when we get back."

Sid scowled as he gave Geno a shove towards the hall. Geno stumbled a bit, then he looked over his shoulder, smiling in relief. 

"Not droid?"

"I am not a droid," Sid hissed.

"Thank fuck," Geno said, and he was unbuttoning his shirt. "Think I go crazy, want to kiss you, see your ass all the time and think I not get to fuck. Think I get electric shock if I try." He winked, then dropped his shirt on the floor, and Sid was really, really, absolutely going to kill Flower for costing him an entire week of this.

~~~

Three months later

"Tell again, how this revenge?" Geno looked over at him from where he was leaning back on the lounger. Three tiny squidlings were crawling over his legs, giggling whenever Geno raised a leg to dangle them in the air.

Sid smiled and held out his hand, letting cautious tentacles wrap slowly around his fingers. Mayline was shyer than her siblings, and while the others frolicked all over whoever wanted to play, she preferred to sit quietly with someone she knew. "Well, we've stolen their children," Sid said.

Geno snorted. "We babysit, now Flower and Vero get catch up on sleep." He reached down to grab a tumbling squidling before it hit the floor, and brought the baby up to drape over his shoulders. Sid watched as – Bubble, maybe? It was hard to tell the two boys apart yet – crawled over Geno's head.

When they'd returned directly after that first run, Sid had been genuinely torn between tearing after Flower and doing – something -- and just locking himself in a room with Geno. Geno won out, and Sid had settled for leaving a long, nasty message on Flower's comm. Then they'd been busy, making run after run, sometimes through the asteroid belt as quick as Sid could fly, and sometimes they took a more leisurely run around the edges, where Geno would take over most of the flying while Sid stood behind him, fingers twitching and fighting himself down from trying to take over.

Two weeks ago, Geno had flown the entire second half of the run through the asteroid belt, then they'd parked the ship at edge of the belt for half a day, while Sid fucked him stupid. They'd ended up padding their flight times by a day, because watching each other fly had the same effect on both of them.

Flower didn't even pretend he didn't know what they were doing, and Sid had finally retaliated by marching into Flower's house and absconding with all of their babies. Vero had waved cheerfully, tossing a hastily packed bag of snacks and favorite toys towards Geno, and now they were sprawled out in Sid's apartment, covered in squidlings and reminding Sid that they'd never properly gotten their revenge on Flower.

"I suppose someday we'll just have to make him babysit," Sid finally said. Mayline scooted forward and cuddled in his arms, and Sid smiled at her, carefully keeping his teeth from showing. It made her cry, and Vero could only say it was probably instinct from back when they lived underwater and were in danger of being eaten by sharks. 

Sid had tried baring his teeth at Flower, and would have bought a few small, artificial shark toys to hide in Flower's bed as his attempt at revenge, if he weren't afraid Mayline would see them. He saw the way Geno was looking at him now, realised what he'd just said – the first hint he'd given of just what sort of things he'd started thinking, when it came to Geno. Sid sighed. Maybe being covered in babies right now hadn't been such a good plan, after all.

Well, in two days' time they had another contract to fly as quickly through the asteroid belt as they could. There would be plenty of time in the run up to it for them to talk.

Or not talk.


End file.
